A Rejection of Mediocrity

No, I don’t expect that this title will win many points for popularity. Of course, it wasn’t exactly intended to.

iPhones are quite amazing…really, they are. My iPhone lets me do all sorts of things that would be terribly difficult without it. YouVersion.com has an app for the iPhone that lets you choose from a variety of plans to read through the Bible in a given time period. I read awfully fast, so I’m using the Bible-in-3-months plan. It comes to 12-16 chapters each day, which takes me about twenty minutes each morning, reading slowly.

The plan goes straight through the Bible continuously, so by Saturday morning I was already halfway through Genesis. There’s something really refreshing about plowing through Genesis at the beginning of the year…you can feel the Spirit renewing your mind. Genesis is full of beginnings – at least that’s what the little header in my Bible says.

There’s always a great deal of discussion, especially in Reformed and/or home schooled circles, over the proper methods and practices of romance. Josh Harris roundly condemned recreational dating as a means of finding a mate. The Vision Forum group, headed by Doug Phillips, teaches a strict concept of courtship mixed with a renewed patriarchy and restoration theology. Others simply discourage casual dating and encourage seriousness.

Wherever you may be on the continuum (or if you’re not particularly concerned at all), there are a few interesting illustrations of a “Biblical marriage” in Genesis.

I prefer to use the term “Biblical marriage” instead of “Biblical courtship” – it makes the focus a little stronger. And with this in mind, we approach the comedy of errors in Genesis 24.

I call it a comedy of errors simply because the premise seems humorous. “Servant, swear that you’ll set my kid up with a girl from a nice family.” “Okay.” ~long road trip~ “God, let’s get a girl that likes camels, okay?” “Hey – your daughter gave my camels water; can my boss’s kid marry her?”

And yet, what we see in this passage is, in fact, an arranged marriage. But it’s the good kind of arranged marriage: a God-arranged marriage.

I’d wager a guess that God’s design for marriage—the enduring union between a man and a woman—is just this. He wants marriage to be something He arranges.

In the story of Isaac and Rebekah, we can see three aspects of a real God-arranged marriage.

Trust in Providence

It started with Abraham trusting God (and I’d suspect that his brother Nahor, Rebecca’s father, had done the same). This kind of trust isn’t just an affirmation of belief; it’s the choice to believe that God will do what He has promised. Abraham instructed Eliezer his servant:

“The Lord God of heaven, who took from my father’s house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, ‘To your seed I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from [my father's house].” (Genesis 24:7)

Abraham believed that God would keep His promise to make Abraham’s seed into a great nation. He knew God didn’t want his son to take a wife from the tribes that surrounded them in Canaan. He trusted God enough to send his servant on a rather long journey in pursuit of the woman God had for son.

What’s really interesting about Abraham’s trust, though, was that it did not extend to his own plan. He trusted God to provide a wife for his son, but he knew his understanding of God wasn’t complete. He knew that God could provide in a way or at a time that was unexpected. So he told his servant, “…if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be released from this oath.” Abraham believed God enough to trust that He would make the path straight.

Abraham knew he wouldn’t have to force God’s will into fruition. How often are we so sure of our own understanding of God’s will that we’ll ignore counsel or clear Scriptural directions to chase what we think God has…when the manner or timing is really a lot different than we expect?

Eliezer trusted God as well. Girls might not understand how hard it is for a guy to approach a pretty girl, but it really is. And Eliezer was a rather old fellow! It takes a whole lot of trust to say, “God, bring the woman to me, and I’ll trust that she’s the one.” It may have been tempting for him to have waffled around or tried to hunt down a nice-looking prospect on his own wisdom…but instead he trusted God. Later on, he says:

“And I said to my master, ‘Perhaps the woman will not follow me.’ But he said to me, ‘The Lord, before whom I walk, will send His angel with you and prosper your way; and you shall take a wife for my son from my family and from my father’s house.’” (verses 39-40)

Rebekah, Laban, and Bethuel also trusted God. “The thing comes from the Lord; we cannot speak to you either bad or good. Here is Rebecca before you; take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.”

Consent – both of the parents and of the bride

There’s another important aspect of a God-arranged marriage: consent. Not only is this naturally very important to the general peace and comfort of all involved, but in looking at this passage, it’s clear that parental consent is one of the things God uses to show that He’s ordained the thing. Eliezer recounts from Abraham’s instructions:

‘You will be clear from this oath when you arrive among my family; for if they will not give her to you, then you will be released from my oath.’ (verse 41)

Just as it would have been in opposition to God’s plan (not to mention foolish) for Eliezer to take Rebekah without her family’s consent, so it’s terribly foolish for a young couple to think that they have God’s will all figured out and subsequently ignore the advice of parents.

Another key point: the consent of the girl. After all, it’s her life they’re dealing with. “Then they called Rebekah and said to her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ And she said, ‘I will go.’” (verse 58)

But note that the girl’s consent came after God had already orchestrated the whole event.

True Love

“Then Isaac…took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her.” (verse 67)

Genesis speaks of the love that Jacob had for Rachel, and it infers the love that Abram/Abraham had for Sarai/Sarah. But there’s something a little different about the love that Isaac had for Rebekah.

Abraham had the whole affair with Hagar, and he took a couple of wives after Sarah died. He had a couple of concubines as well. Jacob married Leah and Rachel and slept with their assorted handmaidens on a variety of occasions. Judah, later, would have a terrible time dealing with his daughter-in-law. But in all of Genesis, there’s no mention of Isaac loving anyone else but Rebekah.

A little glimpse of this can be seen a couple of chapters later. Like his father, Isaac has a beautiful wife and is terrified that the people he’s staying with will kill him and take her. So, as Abraham did, he says that she’s his sister.

“Now it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked through a window, and saw, and there was Isaac showing endearment to Rebekah his wife. Then Abimelech called Isaac and said, ‘Quite obviously she is your wife.’” (Genesis 26:8-9)

The English Standard Version translates the Hebrew word/phrase tsachaq (“showing endearment to”) as “laughing with”. The King James Version translates it “sporting with”. Whatever it was, Abimelech was quite certain that the two were married. It’s one of the rare examples (outside Song of Solomon, at least) of the love and affection between a man and a woman.

Did you know that the word “kiss” is only used romantically two times in the entire Bible?

Isaac and Rebekah had something that is quite enviable: a God-arranged marriage. Its conception was marked by trust in God, mutual consent, and enduring love. Such a nice reminder of what God has in store for those who love Him.

David